30 Poems not in order #NaPoWriMo14

Here they all are, including ones I’ve already posted. The good, the bad, the ugly. They are NOT in order. However #30 is my very last poem. Enjoy.

Poem 1

I got a c in art class once.
Balancing my boyfriends bipolar alcoholic infused melt down proved to be too much to practice drawing on paper.
The teacher sympathized but told me how she poured her pain into her art.
Maybe I should have used blood instead of charcoal?
But that would not have completed the assignment either.
Or stopped him from trying to kill himself slowly.
I plugged him into a hospital.
Hopped a plane to Hawaii.
Decided this was not my kind of art.

 

Poem 2

I haven’t dreamed about my grandmother who died 7 years ago until last night: I was packing and going to Paris it was 6 o’clock and the flight was leaving at 8 I hadn’t packed I didn’t know what the weAther was there and I was looking for sweaters and had no place lined up to stay there so between shoving sweaters and looking up air bnb I noticed she was there not saying anything and then it was 6:20 and I knew I wasn’t going to make the flight and could I reschedule or fly standby or still make it and then I woke up to dogs barking upstairs with clueless owners and remembered that I saw you in my dreams and I hadn’t seen you before and I believe/know/trust that you were visiting from the other side and I’m left to wonder if you were there just to tell me you’re ok or to slow down enjoy the trip you don’t have to know what you need to get there just go.

 

Poem 3

Dear old rich white racists
Please die already.
Short poem.

 

Poem 4

I don’t want to live in the place where dreams die.
Short poem.

 

Poem 5

The moments spent in the car are only wasted if you fail to notice the life around you. ‪#‎shortpoem

 

Poem 6

Fear is the dream killer.
Short poem.

 

Poem 7

Some days you look around at your little folding bike and your crappy clothes and the desire for new shoes rattles around and then the realization that children live in cardboard boxes called home and then you shut up.

Poem 8

A little less than ten
old enough to know better
it’s a boy cigars by the big rock
no one has any idea
we could have lit the whole world on fire
but just our lungs instead
we lived in bog
our entertainment consisted of outside
what did you expect?

 

Poem 9

I’m tired of arguing.
Short poem

 

Poem 10

Coffee in bed.
Short poem.

 

Poem 11

Is there a way
To stop glorifying villains and what they do and still be entertained?
Maybe that’s the problem with everything?
We wait for that rush of adrenalin
The payoff of winning against evil
Yet what are we subjecting our subconscious to for that ride
And who else is watching…
I’m turning off Disney now.

 

Poem 12

I demand a recount!
There’s 31 days right?
Poem challenge failures.

 

Poem 13

I just wrote 3 stupid poems in three minutes. See you and raise you.
Short poems breed hostility and competitiveness and sometimes nothing worth saying.
Short poem

 

Poem 14

Shit fuck fuck shit!
Shitty short poem.

Poem 15 – Your Life Here

Life

you’re not here long enough

to spend enough days laughing

playing

eating watermelon and icecream

see birds flying

blue skies

rain clouds emptying their bounty

raw enough to feel each moment

slip by knowing

you do not get out alive

and neither does anyone else

these moments

slips of time

we spend with each other

holding hands

sometimes clenched teeth

bruised hearts

it will all end someday

and we’ll miss the moments

we spent in furious rage

lamenting over something so painful

and yet now so insignifant

do we get to take another breath

do we get to wake tomorrow

do we get one more chance to make it right

do we get to say good-bye

the way we want to

and most of the time no

it burns in hearts

makes it seem like we could almost bleed to death

from tears lumped in throats

we do not get to escape this pain of living

but we get to choose

what we lean into

in our moments we have left

 

Poem 16 Red

red

not a color

but an energy

pulsating

vibrating

it’s own source

it’s own means

it exists

wants you to know

regardless if you believe

it’s here

not leaving

staying

pulsating

in your veins

your heart

your soul

letting you know

it exists

you exist

live live live

its says

live live live

take a breath

live live live

there is something beyond this body

the vehicles that got you here

the memories the pain the tears

none of it is real

except this pulse

this vibration

this being

pulsating

is you

and you are beyond all of these things

and you are beyond all of these things

and you are beyond all of these things

you are made of this

red

this red

this energy

this pulsation

this vibration

this beat

this flow

this now

this you

here

now

to do what you came to do.

 

Poem 17 – Moonshine

A day of dreaming

what would become of us

after the moon

we all looked up

drunk on it’s glory

in our collective wonder

and amazement

of life’s mysteries

science explained

but yet we look

and wonder

if it means something more.

 

 

Poem 18 – Poem for the Hungry

Make it simple

delicious, tasty

something you have in your cupboard

mix things together

don’t be afraid to try

flavor them

add more

taste it

taste some more

allow yourself to savor it

each flavor

each moment

each bite

you’ll forget you were hungry

you’ll forget about everything

if the spice is right

and the moment is relished

it’ll feel like

 

Poem 19 – Space Cowboys

We look to the sky and wonder

the vastness of space

the complexity of what we see

the amazement of what could be out there

The adventure of discovery

the frontier beyond our sphere

they ride the rocket to the moon

someday maybe Mars

someday, maybe beyond

the terrifying reality of something going wrong

the horse not surviving the trip

not being able to send another horse

make these space cowboys

heading on a possible one-way trip

to no where

and yet they ride

the horses have failed before

the possibilities behind

unknown lights and unresolved pictures

reflecting back ideas that someone else might be out there

we must always remember

long ago a few brave souls

taught us the importance

of our collective knowledge

intelligence

and will to survive

and most important

that lives are more important than missions

and getting home is a job well done

for that is what will tell

someone else out there

who we really are

and what is important to us

what together makes us

 

Poem 20 – Comfort

comfort

creamy dark coffee

slow start saturdays

warm covered sheets

soft stirring sounds

peaceful paced walk

symphony of life

nature’s beauty abounding

momentary awareness

 

Poem 21 – Today2

Today

well slept

coffee brewed magic

delightful thoughts

healing

no analysis necessary

time spent wisely

in the present.

 

Poem 22 – Today

Today

Felt long and sad

Not sure why

then conversations no one wants

news flashes no one wants to see

someone’s days end.

Today was not a great day.

Next time I won’t second-guess myself

when feeling so sad

wondering why

I’ll know it’s coming…

 

Poem 23

“Today’s remains stand upon the virtues of stretching the truth,  the idea of truth, that gold throat. We liked you as sunlight, ”  from “Sunshine Prosthetic” by Karl Parker

Remember when we were just an idea,

a fleeting miniscule cell perhaps on the brink of nothingness.

There were no boxes to crawl out of, no bad days or fevered tizzies.

The purity of it all, the connection, the spark.

Yet we go down this path and forget and forget and forget

until the dark has crept up and permeated everything.

Why can’t we remember that we were an idea

in the mind of it all and then came to being,

rare like emeralds

bright like diamonds

shining in the face

here

now

to do what we came to do.

 

Poem 24 – All of My Failures

All of my failures

Started off as a really good idea.

Short poem

 

Poem 25

Sometimes it’s good riddance and sometime it’s too soon but goodbyes just suck sometimes. short poem

 

Poem 26

On April 17th my calendar is written: Ken’s Birthday. Lent is over. Eat a fucking pancake. Short poem

 

Poem 27

This stupid commercial with Gigantic singing makes me think I can do anything and I hate that commercials have this little itch that scratches that think in all of us and it’s only selling us something to make us believe that with it, we have it, when we had ‘it’ already.

 

Poem 28

Jewell Karinen is a poem I didn’t write.

Short Poem

 

Poem 29

There was a poem that I decided not to write with my wrists or hang off of someplace taller or drown in chemical oblivion instead I called it life. Short Poem

 

Poem 30 – This one better be good.

This one better be good

It better make souls sing in heaven choir clapped thunder

Make bad parents turn themselves in

And make everybody’s favorite dessert harmful to no one.

It better be that epic concert note held in for eternity

and the nostalgic bliss of “I was there” last forever and forever and forever

That wave never came to shore, all got to ride

The sun only went away briefly so clouds could unleash their bounty and water the earth.

Endless it is

endless no going back to Mondays

every day is Saturday and it’s time to sleep in, brunch and enjoy the day

Everything eaten delicious

Everything eaten nutritious

Everything bountiful

Everything happened as it should

Everything was wonder-filled

There is no lamentation

No unrealized potential

Not in this one

Not in this time

Not in this place

It was all

Inbetween the nothing

Slips of brilliance

Turning into shades of something new

Here it comes

This thing called good

You’re not waiting for it

It’s already here

Just watch

Just listen

Just feel

Cause if you keep waiting

You’ll miss it

So look around

Put all the pieces together

Stitch it together with slip-knot-believes

so it will only expand

And get bigger and bigger

Shout it from the mountain tops

See who else is there

Clasp their hands and say ‘thank you’

Clasp their hands and say ‘welcome’

Look in their eyes and say ‘I love you’

Look in the mirror and repeat

Look in the mirror and say

‘Look, we made it.

I’m so glad you’re here.

This one, this one was so good’
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#napowrimo And here we go….

“Today’s remains stand upon the virtues of stretching the truth,  the idea of truth, that gold throat. We liked you as sunlight, ”  from “Sunshine Prosthetic” by Karl Parker

Remember when we were just an idea,

a fleeting miniscule cell perhaps on the brink of nothingness.

There were no boxes to crawl out of, no bad days or fevered tizzies.

The purity of it all, the connection, the spark.

Yet we go down this path and forget and forget and forget

until the dark has crept up and permeated everything.

Why can’t we remember that we were an idea

in the mind of it all and then came to being,

rare like emeralds

bright like diamonds

shining in the face

here

now

to do what we came to do.

@JennieOSix 2014

napo2014button2

Poems for the Other Half of April

Ok, this month was WAY harder than last year.  So yes, 30, was finally written, although I’ve been writing it in my head and heart for a few weeks.

Poems for the other half of April
18.Moonshine
Sometimes we all look at the moon
And wonder
And remind ourselves of all we do not yet know
19. Beach
New suit new flip-flops
Packing car with what will be
Mostly unused stuff
20. Beach 2
Parking lot night mare
Rage against tourist filled cars
Spot found near Egypt.
21. Beach 3
No fire pits left
Mini hibatchi saves day
Marshmallows later
22. Beach 4
Spread out beach blanket
Lasts thirty seconds before
Sand encrustation
23. Beach 5
Sunscreen applied thick
Dreams of sun-kissed golden skin
Water calls, laughing.
24. Beach 6
Salty water up
Nose forced by nature isn’t
A good neti pot.
25.  Beach 7
Wave walking only
occurs when your feet fly up
Head under water
26.  Beach 9
SPF thirty
Never works against suns lips
Stained red kisses
27. Beach 10
Sun creeps down blue sky
Rays hit water flashing green
Bye red lips lover
28.  Beach 10
Heated skin cool night
Air chilled but not enough to
Stop marshmallow death
29.  Beach 11
Good bye sun and sand
Left red and sandy trudging
Moon lit beach sweet dreams
30.  Home
When you said you were going home
It did not come as a surprise
But sadness crept into my heart
Knowing you would be far away.
Far away has been where you have been for a long time
And no one can blame you for being there
Especially when your puppy has been kept in a cage
By caretakers who refused to let you feed or water yourself
Kicked you every time you came near
And kept moving so you wouldn’t find them
So you gave it up when you had no other choices
We will all reach that point
Where aging parent s need the care
They freely gave to us as infants
You just didn’t have the opportunity.
So when he gave you something no one else could
A safe place to land
The choice was never a choice
And when you spoke your truth
About what you were returning to
And getting another puppy
That was really when I knew
So go home
Home to the place you once lived
Let those walls you daydreamed behind
Feed the fire that’s been tending in your soul
Let the carpets be the trampoline from which you launch
Grow the grass
Cut it with a lawnmower
Build a dog house
Make plans over beer and barbecue
And go get your puppy
Let him run in the grass
Feed him and water him well
Let him lick your face
We all know he’ll poop in the house and it will smell sometimes
But you’ll never regret letting him in the house to love you
The caretakers will come and try to tell you what to do with him
Some will be kinder and you’ll take what they have to say to heart
You’ll have to let him play with other dogs
It’s how they learn, sometimes the hard way
But know that ultimately, it’s your puppy,
That can grow into a dog
That stays loyal to you even when others walk away
Because you know who you are
And that was never a choice.
@2013 Jennie Olson Six

National Poetry Month 16 and 17

Inspiration

Inspiration lost
still putting pen to paper
hoping for the words.

Long time in the head

fracture spin think think think what did oh really not a chance to change mind spin splinter why how no no no and again repeat spin fracture think think ponder reality disconnect disconnected alone what no one likes me repeat spiral fracture think think react spin what again wait breathe pause spiral pause spiral think interrupt pause breathe past no now yes pause fracture interrupt breathe out let out not here not now think now feet ground root now breathe now think legs now head up breathe out let out not now now here breathe now let go now today good today breathe break a pattern breathe think breathe live breathe inhale now inhale yes exhale yesterday think yes breath yes now yes today yes everything yes life yes breathe yes.  now. 

5 stupid poems

Writing Fail

Writer’s Block
leads to pounding head on keyboard
insane debates between the voices in my head
and full fetal position

yeah…..let’s keep doin’ that.

Turtle

What is most unfortunate
is that I was not born with a shell
to pull my head and body into
to hide from that which threatens me.
Instead, I was born with soft skin
thin in places and bruises easily
my knees are permanently scared.
But I can move slowly
deliberately and with purpose
and remind myself I don’t need
a shell to hide from the world
I just need too slow down and take it all in.

5 7 5

Adds to seventeen
Sometimes pure frustration leads
To a clear moment.  

Kevin Six’s Famous Last Words

I would only have sex with her once just to say that I did.
You are to obey me in a Christian Household.
We live in a Christian household and you as a good Christian wife are to do that for me.
Pretty much anything that starts with “Christian Household.”
In case anyone wonders why….

When the World Blows Up

When the world blows up
will anything need to be said
or remembered or done
other than to grab each other
and go….

National Poetry Month – 9 and ten

Nine
You had blonde hair
buck teeth with a huge gap
big round thick glasses that welfare would pay for
and the development of self-consciousness
this would not go away for decades
and leave you with self-destructive tendancies
and deep shame of simply being alive
coming from the man who abandoned you
but was never really there to begin with
the one who would fail to pay for your braces
so your mother had them scraped off
and you watched them spread back apart
and grow crooked again.
But what this left you with
besides the scar you’d heal yourself
is a memory of you and your best friend
in the bathroom
trying to get her retainer to fit into your mouth
connecting paperclips with failed attempts
to keep your pretty together
and a reminder of when you were young
you were kind to each other
looked out for one another
and kept each others secrets
if only to give each other comfort
and show you what love really is.

Early

Still dark still sleepy

Too soon for night to say bye
yet here calls the day.

@2013 Jennie O6

National Poetry Month 5….maybe 6….

Denial

Denial isn’t
A river in Eypgt if
you’re swimming it….

The Zombie Apocalypse Came

You and I were not supposed to be friends
It was through our broken we stitched up bandages
made of marijuana, alcohol, methamphatamine and anything
else someone could offer us in exchange for things
teen-aged girls shouldn’t be selling.

After intolerable, I started to get out
you had two birds in your nest born from neglect of the world
not giving their mother refuge from the horror she was born into
but you finally found your way out
and back to nesting
but it would not last.

Before I left for sunnier pastures
you started telling the truth again
letting the sweat and the shakes pour out
in my spare bedroom
I encouraged you to keep coming back
it isn’t easy but it is the only way
but you chose your own option.

You’ve had a few last words:
“Your sister wasn’t very tough, she couldn’t handle the drugs.”
“I heard her youngest was adopted by foster parents.”

Then your picture
Identical to your mother at the age we met:
Dead, vacant eyes,
Swollen alcholic skin
Nothing left of the beauty once there
Just a mimographed copy of a woman
whose choices led to your abuse
who never got different
who never left you better
so you watched it all happen
her stumble-down drunk dance
with the poison which eventually took everything
and in spite of the breadcrumbs and interventions
chose to put on her shoes and walk right in them
Until you’ve stopped walking
consciously
anymore.

National Poetry Month 4

Morning Meditation

Sitting for peaceful purposes,
I am flooded by the pain
of what we do to each other
and what we do to ourselves.

I am reminded of the idea
that evil is just the absense of good
and that we have forgotten
that we are the ones we are looking for.

If God is a reflection of the eyes I am looking at
then what happens when God forgets
who they are and what they are here for
so I remind myself, again, to remember.

@JennieO6