The Sum of All Years

fierceI got this fantastic idea from Bonnie Gillespie whom if you don’t know and you’re an actor trying to work, you need to just go down the rabbit hole of her website and all she offers.

The Sum of All Years is a writing exercise in which each year of your life is described in the number of words for that age.

For now this is the past three but I would like to do this for each year and if I do, I will update this post!


Learned to slow down the hard way.

Surgery. PT. Weight gain and loss.

Healing is never ending.

Gave myself opportunities to grow and others followed suit.

Directing. Producing.

Stopped taking shit (see healing)

The compassion I cultivate must be for myself first.

Fully focused.



Financial freedom is attainable.

Sometimes you have to say no and goodbye forever.

Boundaries are not meant to be broken.

Fringe. Laughter. Friendship. I got your back.

Pismo Beach. Jeff getting married. Indy Film. Webseries.

There is so much I have to offer.


Calendar Girls and taking sexy back.

Learning the painful truth about teachers is key to evolvement.

Yoga Journal Conference, old and new friends.

Some people have sad endings and there’s nothing you can do about it.

After Holiday travel magic in Vancouver.

Letting Go

Big day is coming and this week has been a flurry of planned and unplanned tasks.   I felt really heavy and burdened by a number of things and then the unplanned and unexpected happened.  Yesterday came some perspective.  Not necessarily the “see the bigger picture” but more like, “connect with the reason why all of this is happening.”  In this space, I reconnected to that love that I feel and ultimately why we’re here.   By reconnecting with the love, I feel now excited about what’s happening, rather than burdened.  I feel more alive, this is a good thing, this is a celebration.
I also connected with the fact that I do not need to do or respond to everything that comes my way.  I delegated some things and others I simply didn’t respond to.  Will something not get done?  Yes, probably.  Will it not getting done lead to more difficulty later?  Probably.  One of the key elements I have found is by letting go I am allowing myself to live with the consequences of that action.  Good or bad.  Indifferent or not.  I don’t have to figure out the end.  So much of time and space gets taken up with planning for what is going to be, rather than what is.  Yes, plans need to be made.  But how much time and space and agony is taken up when those plans don’t fall into place?  By letting go of the outcome, I allow space for the ever-fluctuating, pulsating and changing nature of the universe.  I allow for others to have their own experiences.  I put the responsibility of those decisions back in the laps of the deciders, not taking on things that aren’t mine.    And ultimately, what do I trust?  The idea of failure or the idea of reasons, seasons, change and unexpected surprises.